The bitter truth that I am entering adulthood

It’s dawned on me. The fatal truth that has really struck me and stabbed me. I’ve come to know what it is going to be like. What there is now. What responsibilities and values I must uphold. Gone are those days where I could cry for mummy or ask daddy for something. Now I have to be my own parent. Now I can’t rely on anyone else, it’s me and its not my choice, it’s just how it is.

For a few days I have felt lost in my age. Having left school and taking a gap year, I feel all these pressures to be the adult. Now I have to make a bit of money, make those sacrifices of freedom I once had. I used to think I hated school, I now miss it, yet it had only been about a month since my last lesson. With school I could live in this illusion that there is something more out there…..for me I can’t see it.

I don’t want to be a slave to money. A scrap piece of paper.

I feel sick and angry at the world. Tonight I don’t look forward to the future in that to live well you must work well. I really hope I don’t end up in an office. I am now going to promise myself that no matter what I will try to get somewhere with this.

Life isn’t about working 9-5 in an office or shop selling products that are worthless for money that is made up. It’s all a game.

I’m not buying it. I’m not playing it. I am certainly not going to ignore it.

F*ck having a ‘Media’ shaped body!

Diets. Every girl and woman has been on one. Whether they managed to last a day,  a week or a month.

To be at a normal weight for your height seems to not matter these days.

It seems to be that it is whether you have *that*  Dita Von Teese waist:


or *that* Beyonce stomach:


and *that* bum Rihanna has been blessed with:


Oh, and  *that* Katy Perry rack:


To be deemed as fit, attractive or hot.

It’s becoming a culture for people to look skinny or slender. It all about *looking* rather than being or appearing healthy. Health seems to be out of the window, especially for teenagers. It’s all those pictures and clothes with young female adults flaunting their bodies and then them gaining attention. This need for attention is starting to become the craze. Being skinnier than your friend or have a thigh gap. I think it is terrible that I cannot feel comfortable in my own skin yet I have a perfectly healthy weight and BMI.

Why do I feel fat? Why do I want to diet? Why do I feel like I need these features? More importantly why am I being made to feel this way?

Skinny is not being underweight, that is a totally other matter. Skinny now is what is meant by looking healthy. If you have a little bit here and there, but still are at a healthy weight, then why is this associated with being fat. I just do not understand how a girl who is size 8 like myself, but does not appear skinny, can be called fat…. Sometimes I feel pressured into stating that I am in fact a size 8. Not because I want to show off or brag and be a sheep to the media. BUT, because I don’t look what these models look like. Sure even a size 8 is not even in the media, but people like Katy Perry are size 8, yet I certainly don’t have her body. Nor do I want it, I am not a pop star, or model my assets for money. I don’t sell myself as a product or need to look perfect to be deemed the hottest woman in the world. I am sorry but that is also stupid. How can we say who is the number 1  hottest woman in the world. How can we possibly do that?! All we are doing is making these people rich from their looks not their talents.

This culture of diets is destroying the freedom of living. It’s making the expectations of women increase. Men will become more desirous of women who know how to diet. Men will soon be able to freely tell us to lose weight. They could tell us to get *that* stomach because it is achievable. For me, it needs to stop. I am sick of men staring at these models who have the body which I will never have. I am fucking sick of groups of lads commenting on women and saying they are fit on their Facebook photos because their dignity is hanging out. I am not changing my body to look ‘fit’ because I am healthy. I can eat what makes me feel good, what these men don’t realize is that these women in the media are pressured to stay that way or they are out.

Imagine if Katy Perry put weight on, mankind might actually collapse.

What’s the big deal about shopping in Charity Shops?

Charity shops seem to be a big no-no for young people. They look down upon other people for even peering into the windows full of items that are priced at £3 or less. But why? Why is it so wrong to find deals for cheap prices. Surely, in this economic climate we should be watching what we spend instead of buying that £25 dress from New Look. These shops are just so logical that it drives me mad when younger people tease about them. Saying things like ‘Don’t you have enough money for ‘real’ shops.’Image

Other day I came by some shorts in the British Heart Foundation that were NEW from NEXT and they were previously priced at £20…..I got them for £2.30. So I saved, £17.70. I then was able to buy a further pair of trousers, more shorts, jumper and a swimming costume, still having money left over. Where is the problem here? For a student I was able to buy clothing that had it’s quality at fantastic, affordable prices.

This whole silent stigma that ‘Someone could of died in that’ or ‘Obviously something must be wrong with it’ is a load of nonsense. The clothes are washed obviously before being sold to you. Those kind people who work in these charity shops care deeply about their job and what it represents. They will not be putting clothes that are not going to give them a good reputation or which could hinder the charity’s status.


Today I spotted a Levi jacket priced at £9.99. I immediately jumped out of my skin to grab it, deals like that cannot not be seen in any other shop. Levi jackets are retailed at £70 give or take £10. Retail these days are way too over priced and they sell the same style, patterns, you name it in any store. Look at Primark, they sell virtually everything that the high street shops are producing at much cheaper prices. Maybe the quality is not as good, but it’s about having something for *that* winter or *that* summer then getting the next ‘in’ thing the next coming season will be at a greater benefit.

Charity shops need to attract the younger people. They need to make an appeal. Young adults such as myself will really benefit from having a shopping spree with just £20 and coming away with virtually a closet worth of clothes. Stop making out these stores are ‘second-hand’ ‘dirty’ and ‘cheap’.

Save your money and save lives.Image