Since last May, here I am. I sit here day by day, thinking, fantasying, dreaming and doubting about what’s going to happen in my life. It’s been hard. Waiting for things to happen can drive a person mad, and things are starting to take it’s toll. At eighteen I didn’t expect things to be like this. At thirteen I had my life planned:
1. Get good GCSEs
2. Get into Sixth Form
3. Get 5 A-levels above C
4. Go to University
5. Leave everything behind.
The thing is, life throws decisions at you that can change everything…and my decisions have been difficult. At christmas I moved out with my 16 year old (at the time) boyfriend . This you say is questionable but my family situation wasn’t helping me get through my A-levels. He gave me a way out, I had to take it. Now, I fell strongly in love with him. I could not leave, I achieved everything up to number three.
I’m stuck in my town, searching jobseekers all day, commenting on all the jobs I’ve applied for with a bit of writing between. It’s unhealthy for me. I want to live, be free with money and security. It’s scaring me. Since May I’ve been in this seat. I have filled out all my Ucas for 2014, but what will I do until then. I’ve been job hunting for months and it’s stressing me out. It makes me wonder what’s wrong with me?!