Mental Disarray

In my ear you tell such things,

Oh tickle my appetite for your bearings,

Make tender, kind suggestions,

All I want is the best, finest,

Don’t hint at these beginnings

Without failure or false starts

You know you cannot please me

Or have my heart.

God has my heart and owns my soul

It is he who will judge me

Laugh at my crashes, slams, knocks

It pains me to stay, to sit here

Amongst this disarray, chaos

You flattered me, youthful coy

With you in my ear

Teasing me about nothing, nothing.

Ponder on what you ask me

Think whether I want it, your

Hateful mornings run in my veins

Into your blood filled eyes

Stare at me, wonder what I think, see

Its hell, darkness and gore

Nothing lies in my head alive

Countless deaths wet, abuse

Please go, use someone else

Take me no further into your depths

Only he can have me I said

I vowed, carpet stained knees

Beneath the ceiling of the sky

Of the heavens of this earth

Dearest, dearest child, do you see

I am the devil, he’s within in me

Virgin I am not, or ever be

Shake from within, red mist free

Fire burn glee, crawling into speech

Flame up to your people, society

I am free, free, free.

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